What Each of Us Wants
by Samuraiko
Summary: Beatrix von Lothringen thinks she knows exactly what she wants from the love of her life. Unfortunately, her fiancé, Prince Kai von Granzreich, isn't exactly the soul of romance. So she turns to visiting Knight TaraLeila MacIntyre for advice... and discovers that love is far more complicated than she thinks it is. (Set just after Chap 22 of A NOBLE SOUL.)


_Author's Note: Okay, this one is for Electric Writer Girl. I know that EWG's a Kai/Beatrix shipper, but I've also won her over as a fan of my Bruno/TaraLeila ship from _A Noble Soul_, so let's see what happens when the two overlap, shall we?_

_(For those who've read _A Noble Soul_, this story takes place not long after the diplomats' ball (around Chapter 22 - "Passing Fancies and Speculations").)_

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**WHAT EACH OF US WANTS**

Beatrix came to a breathless stop outside a chamber door, twitched her waistcoast into place, then briskly knocked.

"Aye, come in!"

She entered with a hesitant smile for the Knight seated at her desk, writing. "I apologize for disturbing you, madame."

"Lady Beatrix!" TaraLeila exclaimed, quickly getting to her feet and bowing. "Please, do sit down, Your Ladyship. How may I be of service to ye?"

Beatrix took a seat, but was almost immediately on her feet again as she began pacing around TaraLeila's room. "I... um... well... I was hoping... I was hoping you might be able to give me some advice."

TaraLeila looked at the younger girl in concern, but she leaned against the desk and watched her pace. "Weel, I can certainly try. I'm no' certain how much good I can do ye, but no harm in the attempt, I suppose."

Beatrix continued her pacing around and around the room, unable to sit still, and after several failed starts, she finally blurted out, "I need... romantic advice."

That got the Knight's attention, and her dark eyebrows arched. "Ye? But are ye no' engaged to Prince Kai?"

"Yes! I am! And that's the problem!"

"Ye mean ye don't _want_ to be engaged?" TaraLeila asked slowly, confused.

"No! It's just that he doesn't treat me like a fiancée. He's just..." Beatrix waved her hands in a vague attempt to convey all that was the second prince. "... Kai."

"Ahhh," TaraLeila murmured. "And correct me if I'm wrong, Your Ladyship, but the prince is also your cousin, aye?"

Beatrix nodded and let out a gusty sigh. "And so whenever we're together, he just treats me like family, like he always has."

TaraLeila could see how that might be a problem, and she frowned thoughtfully, twisting her braid around her fingers as she often did when puzzling through something.

"If I might be so bold as to ask, have ye told him how ye feel?"

Beatrix froze mid-step and nearly tripped on the carpet before whirling to face TaraLeila, her face flaming and her expression aghast. "Are you _mad_? I can't just _tell_ him that!"

"Why no'?" TaraLeila asked, even more confused than before.

"Because it's... I mean... well, you know, it's..." Her face turned even redder and she sputtered, "I mean, he should _know_! As my fiancé!"

The Knight briefly closed her eyes, drew in a breath, and let it out in a slow sigh, suspecting that this was not going to go well. "Let me be certain I understand ye. We're discussin' Prince Kai."

"Yes."

"And ye want him to treat ye more like a fiancée and future wife than just family."

"Yes!"

"Ye want him to be more romantic toward ye."

"Exactly!"

"But ye don't want to _tell_ him any of that because he should just know."

The younger girl beamed. "I _knew_ you'd understand."

TaraLeila ran one hand over her face. "Your Ladyship, are ye completely daft?"

That brought Beatrix up short. "What?"

"Ye want the prince to be a mind reader, Your Ladyship."

"No, I don't!" Beatrix protested, but TaraLeila folded her arms across her chest and fixed the girl with a level gaze, and her cheeks went red as she lowered her own gaze to the floor. "Well... maybe. But still!"

The Knight let out an exasperated sigh, and sat down once more. "Your Ladyship, may I be completely frank with ye?"

"You have so far, why stop now?" Beatrix muttered, and TaraLeila softly chuckled.

"Aye, 'tis a failin' of mine to be too blunt, I fear. The thing is, 'tis perfectly obvious even to me after just a short time here that with the exception of Prince Licht, no' one of the princes has the _faintest_ idea how to be romantic. Polite, aye. Courteous to women, even deferential, aye. But _romantic_? No' a chance."

The Knight tugged at her braid and frowned slightly. "Be that as it may, Your Ladyship, ye can't expect Prince Kai to read your mind and know what ye want without askin'. That kind of rapport between two people takes years to build, and effort on both parts. But ye seem to want him to do it without any help from ye. Which, between ye and me, strikes me as rather unfair to both of ye."

Beatrix was so surprised that she forgot her embarrassment. "What do you mean, unfair?"

Now it was TaraLeila's turn to grope for words. "Weel, I mean... ye have your own hopes and dreams about your engagement, but ye don't feel comfortable trustin' those hopes and dreams with Prince Kai, or else ye'd tell him. But at the same time, ye're denyin' yourself your own happiness as a result. Ye can't fix a problem if ye just sit and wait for it to go away, and he can't fix it if ye don't even tell him there's a problem in the first place."

Slowly, Beatrix sank into a chair, her eyes thoughtful as she considered the Knight's words. "Oh. I... I think I see what you mean." She frowned and rested her chin in her hands, her elbows on her knees. "And I suppose if the situation were reversed, I'd be pretty frustrated with Kai for wanting something from me and not feeling like he could come to me with the problem."

"So mayhap there's your answer. Start by tellin' Kai that ye want to feel more comfortable sharin' your hopes and your dreams with him, and ye'd like him to feel comfortable doin' the same with ye." She caught the look of disappointment on Beatrix's face and softened her voice. "'Tis no' all hearts and flowers, true, but 'tis a start."

"I know, I know," Beatrix sighed.

TaraLeila turned her eyes toward the window, her gaze distant and her voice sad. "Truth be told, Your Ladyship, I envy ye."

That caught Beatrix completely by surprise, and her eyes went wide as she stared at TaraLeila in astonishment. "Why would you envy me? This is so unbelievably frustrating that I have a fiancé who's the epitome of unromantic, and you're _jealous_?!"

The Knight was quiet for a long, long time, then she closed her eyes, bowed her head, and sighed. "Because whether ye realize it or no', ye have someone who would fight and die for ye. Prince Kai may no' be the most demonstrative fiancé, but make no mistake, he would move heaven and earth for ye if needs be. And... and because ye have the... the freedom to love and be loved, and to make a life with someone. I don't."

The younger girl stared at her with her mouth open. "You... you mean you... you've _never_ been in love? Not even _once_?"

TaraLeila shook her head.

"But... but what about-" Beatrix abruptly clapped one hand over her mouth and turned completely scarlet, and while TaraLeila also turned red, she managed to keep her voice calm.

"I... I admit that I am... fond of Prince Bruno. I admire him deeply, and I'm grateful for his friendship, for his kindess and respect. But ye must know that l-... that anythin' more between myself and Prince Bruno would be impossible, Your Ladyship." Try as she might, TaraLeila could not stop herself from adding a very slight emphasis to her last two words.

"But that's so unfair!"

TaraLeila's voice was so quiet that Beatrix wasn't sure at first if she'd even said anything. "I know."

For several moments, neither of them spoke, but then TaraLeila drew herself up and faced Beatrix once again. "I may no' have much experience in matters of romance, Your Ladyship, but I do know about people. And trust, communication, understandin'... those come with effort, and they come with time." Her mouth quirked into a slight smile. "So do try to meet the prince halfway, won't ye?"

Beatrix nodded and rose to her feet. "I'll do my best. Thank you for your time, Dame TaraLeila."

The girl turned to go, when TaraLeila's voice stopped her just as she reached the door.

"Oh, by the way, Your Ladyship..."

Beatrix turned and glanced over her shoulder. "Yes?"

"It might interest ye to know that His Highness has been practicin' readin' poetry aloud."

Beatrix's mouth fell slightly open. "He... he has?"

"Aye. I gather Heine's had Prince Kai doin' it to improve his confidence with public speakin'." Her smile deepened and reached her eyes. "Mayhap 'twould no' be a bad idea to be a supportive audience for him."

"You're awful, Dame TaraLeila, did you know that?" Beatrix said, trying and failing to hide her own smile.

"Aye. Now off with ye. And best of luck."

Beatrix gave her a quick bow of the head and a smile, then she left and closed the door behind her. But as the door closed, she leaned against it, her smile slowly fading as she thought about the Knight and her cousin Bruno.

"And to you, TaraLeila," she whispered. "And to you."

Then, her footsteps quick and her eyes bright, she dashed down the palace corridors in search of Kai.


End file.
